I’m sure we’re all guilty of a bit of internet self-diagnosis. I know that in the past, I’ve concluded that I must have Tourette’s after a stuttery outburst of profanity at the supermarket. But hey, Tesco can do that to anyone.

When we first came home from the hospital, I thought surely I would be a FOOL not to approach the information super-highway (as my dad still calls it) armed with the pieces of information we have so far, about B’s condition?

Not so fast. I was smart enough to know to avoid people’s personal experiences – everyone’s different, and bear no real reflection on our situation. Horror stories would bring me down, success stories would elevate me. All artificially. So I thought, I’ll restrict myself to “official” sites – Macmillan Cancer Support, the NHS site, Brain Tumour UK etc. But even this has been too much. There is so much we don’t know, so reading about the possible effects and outcomes of the surgery and beyond is overwhelming. It completely breaks the “no moping” rule. This was effectively illustrated by an afternoon in tears followed by a few too many glasses of red wine.

So for now, I’ve completely restricted any research to the immediately practical, eg. What to ask your doctor about brain tumour surgery. Thank goodness we can access information like that. You couldn’t exactly look that up in your Funk & Wagnalls in days of old, could you?


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