Despite my recent enthusiasm for Yoga, no amount of Vinyasa or Ashtanga would have been helpful to me during the past few days. My heart is pounding, my left eye won’t stop twitching, I’m tired, irritable and sleep is very thin on the ground. The night before last I didn’t get a wink. I can hardly believe I used to just get into bed and go to sleep. That is totally gone at the moment.

I have mild OCD tendencies and am prone to worrying on a good day, so it’s not surprising that this has morphed into a proper anxiety disorder under current circumstances.

I therefore ‘gave in’ and visited my local GP yesterday. I’ve mentioned before that my faith in British GPs is quite low, due to past experiences. Getting an appointment at a convenient time is akin to getting an audience with the Pope. When you do arrive, you’re generally confronted by a disinterested, uncaring, barely qualified, overweight cretin who needs look up the most basic medications in the drugs handbook, and is then stingy about prescribing them.

Don’t even get me started on the nurses. My local practice has one nurse, who isn’t allowed to give injections.

Yesterday’s appointment started off predictably. She wanted to sign me off work for a week rather than prescribing me drugs. I wasn’t having that. Time off isn’t the answer. I need to continue my normal life with artificial stimulation! My persistence paid off and I now have my own sedatives and anti-anxiety medication. Some might frown at this, but I am a firm believer that modern medicine has its place in these situations.

I also got a referral for counselling. This may be helpful, but being the NHS I won’t see anyone for at least 3 weeks.

I know that less chemical means of reducing anxiety may also be required. Stay tuned for a review of this, which I am also going to try:



  1. Tatielane · · Reply

    Sleep deprivation is the worst and I’m glad you sought help for it. Surely no one could question your anxiety or challenge your need for medical assistance at the moment. To be a support for B you need to be okay in yourself, insofar as that’s even plausible.

    Not because of anxiety but because of snoring, I often find it hard to get to sleep too. My solution is to go to bed plugged into an audiobook with comfortable pillow-friendly earphones. Of course I end up rewinding heaps the next day because I fall asleep while it’s still on, but as a sleeping aid I absolutely swear by it now.

    1. Thanks Kathy. I usually need silence for sleep but that isn’t helping at the moment, so maybe an audiobook is something to try, if Yoga sleep doesn’t produce the goods.

  2. Have you tried these?
    We bought for Jay, so he could listen to his music while falling asleep.

    1. I’ve never seen one of those! ‘The best-selling speaker pillow on the market’. I wonder if that’s a big market? Something to consider, thanks.

  3. I think its one of those markets that’s called a ‘sleeper!’

  4. Dave Roberts · · Reply

    As somebody who has been on anti-anxiety meds for years, I thoroughly recommend them! Without them I wouldn’t even be able to leave the house. Hope they work for you! x

  5. Lyndsey · · Reply

    I Love your blog! my son has an astrocytoma so I am very aware of the issues you are facing but the best thing to get everyone through is a sense of tumour humour. Good Luck with the treatment and Huge Congratulations on your engagement! x x x

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