Some of you may be surprised by the unbridled optimism I displayed in the previous post, where I announced my engagement to B. In the past I’ve mentioned my indifference towards the institution of marriage. But since ‘all this’ happened, it has come to mean a lot more to me.

It’s partly due to the gravity of the title. I think I have earned ‘wife’ status. Girlfriend isn’t a suitable mantle for any woman over the age of 18. Partner is very businesslike. Life Partner is gag-inducing.

Rightly or wrongly, the unmarried equivalents of ‘wife’ just don’t carry the same air of authority. For example, which response is preferable?

Doctor/nurse/medical secretary: Who are you?

Option 1: I’m his girlfriend, umm, partner. We live together. I’m ‘the one’.

Option 2: I’m his wife.

I’m not saying we’re getting married just for reasons of of brevity when talking to medical staff, but it will be handy. I’ve actually been using Option 2 for a while anyway, but it will be nicer when it’s true.



  1. Yep.

  2. Will you be Mrs Niemeyer though!?

    1. No, you know how I feel about patrilineal naming! That may deserve a post of its own đŸ™‚

  3. Tatielane · · Reply

    I describe myself as “Alan’s missus”. He describes me as his girlfriend. I agree with your view that since I am forty two and have purchased a house for us to live in, “girlfriend” doesn’t quite do it justice.

    1. I really hate describing myself as the girlfriend, missus is much better. I usually say partner when I’m forced into a description.

  4. jo westwood · · Reply

    Here Here Jill! My life has become so much easier since I’m able to call myself Marks wife. Also when dealing with his Mother in Hospital over the phone! Daughter in law goes so much further.

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