I’ve been evicted from the marital bed. Before you jump to sordid conclusions involving deception, infidelity and my Hot Yoga instructor, let me clarify – it is purely because B is having trouble sleeping. Issues with sleep are a recurring theme in this blog, as I’m sure they are for a lot of brain tumour sufferers and their carers. Put simply, it is difficult to get a solid piece of shuteye when you know there is something inside your head that will most likely kill you.
There are two problems with us sleeping together.
1. B likes silence. Since I started having anxiety problems, I can’t sleep in silence.
I use the White Noise app on my phone (thanks Christian for the tip). After trying out various sounds on offer I settled on ‘stream water flowing’ which to me sounds more like a fan. There are many options, some of which don’t seem particularly relaxing:
extreme rain pouring
light rain with birds
I sleep like a baby thanks to ‘stream water flowing’ but it disrupts B. Sleeping with headphones on does not work for me.
2. I sometimes snore. This doesn’t happen often and is usually sorted by B poking me in the ribs.
So it’s mainly the first point that is causing the problem. I’m now sleeping in the spare room upstairs and trying not to use the app. So far it’s going well. In the past I have focussed on my breathing without the white noise but that hasn’t happened. It helps if I’ve been worn out by yoga and chair aerobics.
Hopefully the situation is only temporary. I’m keen to return to our room because it’s where the electric blanket, I mean B, is. I miss it. Him.
Despite the sleeping issues, we’re getting along better than this conversation from Saturday indicates:
Me (reading the paper): You can kill your wife and only go to jail for 3 years.
B: Yes? How?